Here's to the freaks

Here's to the freaks.
Here's to the people
Who don't always follow
What people say they should
Or the people trying
To find themselves,
In a world that says
Who they are is wrong.
Here's to the people
Who aren't quite normal,
Who live outside the lines,
Make people question, and learn,
Though they may pay for it
With tears, or with blood.
So here's to the freaks,
For the change they bring,
And here's to the freaks,
Everyone unique.
I love insomnia poetry. I have a feeling I'll read it in the morning and it will suck. Not that it doesn't suck now, considering how cliched it is. It just kind of struck me, after having an argument about whether it was worth it to try and change people's minds about gay marriage. I, personally, would rather just avoid the people who think being gay is morally wrong. (I grew up around people preaching being gay is wrong, and have had quite enough.) I've also seen that even using the same book that Christians follow, very few of them will change their mind about gay being just as healthy as straight.
When it comes down to it, really, I think religion is just a poor excuse for homophobia. It's something that's different, that's outside people's comfort zones. It's unknown. People don't ever really know how to react, and then there's the matter of touch, locker rooms, and various and sundry other things. Most people will simply say absolutely not instead of asking the questions they have, and to me, this seems rather silly. But then, I've been told I have no tact on multiple occasions.
So... Why am I writing this at twelve thirty in the morning? Quite simply, because it's been bugging me. I wish I could answer the questions people have, but I don't know them. I can guess at a few... But it would sound weird to try, mostly because my brain isn't working, no surprise. I do know that at least in my experience, being attracted to someone straight is usually pretty petrifying, particularly if that someone is your friend. Maybe it's the upbringing I've had, but I'm always too scared to lose the person I'm close to to try and do anything. And I figure if they find out, then well, bye bye friendship. It's kind of like the they're more scared of you than you are of them adage. But I guess since being gay is morally questionable, contagious, and doing to end the world, no one wants to get that close.
The most important thing to remember though, and this isn't a question I'm answering, this is just kind of a what to do if your kid comes out to you, is that gay people are people too. And usually, being gay is a very big part of who they are. It has to be, in order for them to come out at all. It's not something that they'd be willing to change, or if it is, they might have already tried. Gay people also just want the same things as any straight person, believe it or not. They just happen to go for a different flavor of human, so to speak. Anyway. I'll stop rambling around in circles now, pretend someone will read this, and bid you all a good night.

I write

Dug up some stuff from forever ago. Some of it's poems, some of it's stanzas or bits of prose that just struck me as decent and I want to post.

I write I love you in the clouds
For the people I left behind
I write I love you in the stars
For the people I watch over still
I write I love you on the wind
For the people lost and alone
I write I love you in the Earth
For all the people who remember
Every day that love seems to die

When I leave
I don't necessarily want
To be remembered
I want people to be loved

People weave their lives out of stories, and all of those stories are connected to other people somehow, which are all connected to still more people, until the world becomes a tapestry of stories and people's lives.

What would it be like
To be truly invisible
To move in and out of crowds
Leaving nothing but footprints
But seeing and hearing
The secrets of everyone around me

Would anyone eventually be able to see me
Through my perpetual anyonymity
Or would my darting form
Constantly fly by without being noticed?

How long would the invisibility last
Before someone caught on to my game?
Would I be allowed to stay
Lingering in the shadows
Or would I be welcomed back
Into the land of the visible?

Paper
My almighty keeper
Of every secret
Kingdom of my thoughts
Listening without complaint
And never telling
Anyone it's precious contents
Book of my words
Keeper of my mind

Pisses me off

I'm stuck as a cripple and my sister and mom are LAUGHING AT ME. I kid you not, even my mom is laughing at me. It's frustrating, because I'm already feeling like crap and yet I still get laughed at because I can't get up. ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

hello out there :P

Sick of being sick. Very, very sick of being sick. And a cripple, I really just want to be done with all of the crap with my knee and my immune system. That and I am exhuasted. Completely and totally and it sucks. Plus, I think I'm babbling. I'm also wondering where you are and what not, but whatever. Check the blog :P

Wow.

I just learned that a teenage girl was killed in the shooting. Talk about a reality check.... It's very weird to think about how life is still going on, and yet there's yet another event framed in our mind for tradgedy that will never move forward. It's very weird to think about....

There was another shooting

Four words, not much effect.
I had heard about the first one,
One in Arvada. Two dead.
One critically injured.
And all I thought was,
How sad. But this one,
This one hit close to home.
I could have been there,
At that church. New Life.
I could have been shot.
It's terrifying to think about,
But there's a morbid curiosity.
What would it be like?
Would I be huddling, cowering
In a closet, praying
I wouldn't be found,
Or would I be caught off guard
And get shot, or would I
Even possibly play the hero,
Trying to take the shots,
Or get the gun away from the shooter.

Why would anyone do this?
To visit a place that has
Done nothing but good, and
Try to kill children, mothers,
Fathers, brothers, sisters.
What would prompt someone
To kill other people,
People who mean something
To another, who are valuable
In someone else's lives.
What would drive anyone
To put a burden of someone's
Life on their soul, to
Take away such a precious thing
From someone who will never
Be able to get it back.

Banging my head against the wall

I think I should know better than to try and express my feelings to someone that I'm pretty sure they never wanted to hear in the first place. (Uh, no offense.) It just means that situations end up awkward and I end up more confused. I don't know, I just feel really, really weird. Ugh.....my eloquence fails.